I am the hydra, now you'll see your star... - Marilyn Manson
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Friday 31st of March, 2006, 11:44:59 AM.
The start of "This Mortal Coil - Sixteen Days (Reprise)" sounds exactly like the verse riff out of "Placebo - This Picture".

"Song To The Siren" by the same band is one of the most beautiful things I've heard in a long time.

In other news, my labret hurts. Owy.
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Thursday 30th of March, 2006, 09:58:47 AM.
I really have to learn to trust my instincts more. When my brain is yelling quietly at me to do a certain thing at a certain time, I should just fucking listen to it.
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Saturday 25th of March, 2006, 04:33:24 PM.
Just when you think things can't get any weirder....
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Friday 24th of March, 2006, 01:38:44 AM.
Awake inside the screen, she's teasing me;
Inside the screen, she's everything.
Inside the screen, she's keeping me;
Inside the screen, she's taking me.

Jacked in, turned on, Technophilia.

Away inside the screen she's calling me;
Inside the screen, she's begging me.
Inside the screen, she's tempting me;
Inside the screen, it's me.

Jacked in.

Turned on.

She's Technophilia.
Listening to Babydoll Johnson
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left curve Public Post This wasn't meant to be a rant, honest.... right curve
Posted on Thursday 23rd of March, 2006, 01:27:05 PM.
Lacuna Coil have covered "Enjoy The Silence", by Depeche Mode. Wasn't really expecting that....

People are wigging out all over the show. There's yelling, and screaming, and throwing punches at either walls or other people, and everything feels like a tightly coiled spring that's just waiting for a little extra twist...

I'm not sure if it's because I've been feeling exactly the same way for months now and have been having to deal with it in my own special way (I can count on one hand how many people know how close to exploding I've gotten), but I seem to be the little calm epicentre at the moment. Eye of the storm, and all that. Everything else is whirling around me, and I'm standing here watching a monstrous amount of destruction be wreaked.

The question I'm asking myself is should I get involved and try and help? It would take an enormous amount of effort on my part, and I've already taken on far more responsibility with the flat than I care to deal with; I swore this time round that I'd just be another flatmate, I'd do my chores and pay my rent, and it's not my fucking job to look after everyone; I've done that for the last 6 years at my old flats.

Well, that lasted about a week, and now I'm (again) in charge of making sure the rent gets out on time, I'm a authority on the power bill, the internet bill's in my name (that part I don't mind so much), and I'm busily chasing up the bond. I'm sick of being the one that has to pull everyone else together and into line, I'm sick of being the mature responsible one, I'm sick of being the fucken Dad. I just want to sit back and not be the mature grown-up for a while, instead of having to actively sit there and make sure everyone's wearing clean socks and has blown their noses.

So "why don't I?" is the obvious question. Not really any choice in the matter, truth to tell. We'd be evicted by now if I hadn't stood up and said "I'll deal with this,", because no-one else there would. I don't know if it was lack of trying, lack of ability, forgetfulness, laziness, or just plain and simple "if I hide under the covers long enough it'll all go away", but whichever way it's fucken annoying. So once again, I have to act my age and be responsible. Again. I fucking hate it.

I have FAR too much shit to deal with to put up with this crap. I'm already far too upset and stressed and tired and feeling very, very old, thank you very much, to have to put up with my flatties trying to slug each other. And having to cover their rent. And cleaning for them constantly. And having my food (and not just mine, reportedly) nicked. And getting woken up every time I go to have a nap by some fucknut banging and kicking and thumping on the door for 20 minutes at 4am (honestly, standing there pounding will not make people be home any more).

Honestly, there's about 2 people that know what's going on with me and how I feel. There's a reason for that; it's not pretty. At all. In fact, it's very upsetting and it' smade me cry hysterically far too many times for my liking recently. Some of it involves dropping everything I own in the river and just fucking off with a backpack to start again somewhere new. Yes, I'm getting that fucking sick of it. And the flat stuff on top of it, having to play mediator and father-figure and arbitrator, it's just getting old. Like me.

I'll save the "fuck this inbred, pathetic little politicking" rant I have stored up for another entry.

-----
Edit: There's no money from anyone in the flat account. Rent day is tomorrow.

FUCK.
Listening to Glasseater - Pale Blue Face
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Thursday 16th of March, 2006, 02:54:24 PM.
This is purely for Demelza.

I found this on a forum....

http://bastion.nova-kaine.net.nz/images/genmay/snapezz.gif

(Be warned, it's about 750kb)
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left curve Public Post Sick and weak from my condition... right curve
Posted on Sunday 05th of March, 2006, 07:18:42 PM.
I have to stop this. It's wrecking me, mentally and physically.

But I want to go back. Oh, how do I want...

How much is too much?

Listening to Theatres Des Vampires - I Just Can't Get You Out Of My Grave
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Sunday 05th of March, 2006, 06:19:20 AM.
Dead and frozen my heart; over and done.
My life falling apart; over and done.
Listening to Deine Lakaien
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Thursday 09th of February, 2006, 03:38:35 PM.
Dumb LJ HTML validation.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion||||||||||||||||||76%
Stability||||||||||||46%
Orderliness||||||||||36%
Accommodation||||||||||36%
Interdependence||||||||||||||||63%
Intellectual||||||||||||||||||||90%
Mystical||||||||||||||||||76%
Artistic||||||||||||||||||76%
Religious||||||||||||||||||||90%
Hedonism||||||||||||||||||||83%
Materialism||||||||||||||56%
Narcissism||||||||||||50%
Adventurousness||||||||||||||||63%
Work ethic||||||23%
Self absorbed||||||||||||||56%
Conflict seeking||||||||||||||||||76%
Need to dominate||||||||||||||||||76%
Romantic||||||||||||50%
Avoidant||||||||||||43%
Anti-authority||||||||||||||||||||90%
Wealth||||||23%
Dependency||||||||||||||||63%
Change averse||||||||||||50%
Cautiousness||||||||||||50%
Individuality||||||||||||||||||||90%
Sexuality||||||||||||||||||||83%
Peter pan complex||||||||||||||||||76%
Physical security||||||||||||||||||||83%
Physical Fitness||||||||||||||57%
Histrionic||||||||||||||||||||83%
Paranoia||||||||||||||||||||90%
Vanity||||||||||||||||||||90%
Hypersensitivity||||||||||||||||||||90%
Female cliche||||||||||||||||||||90%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot: messy, outgoing, open, self revealing, ambivalent about chaos, unpredictable, not good at saving money, social, likes large parties, likes to stand out, risk taker, quick to make friends, does not like to be alone, rash, fame seeking, sarcastic, craves attention, social chameleon, low self control, food lover, not rule conscious, weird, assertive, not a perfectionist, anti-authority, thrill seeker, vain, likes to fit in, reckless, emotionally sensitive, leisurely, trusting
Listening to Deine Lakaien - April Skies
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Tuesday 07th of February, 2006, 09:56:02 AM.
Having no net at home is painful.

Whinge Mode Activated.

Being alone is worse. I'm not quite used to having all my stuff in my room and my room only - the comp's always been in the lounge where there's people constantly coming and going. And no net = no communication with most people (sad, I know). Provided those people even want to talk to me, that is.

Kopete just dropped an entire conversation's worth of history. Very strange.

There's not really much else to tell. Drinking is taking up a lot of time, because there's nothing else to do and escaping for a while is nice. I like my room, but I'm not really used to the space; I could almost say it's too big for me. I miss people.

Bitch bitch moan moan. I'll be back when I have something original to say.
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left curve Public Post Interesting idea.... right curve
Posted on Friday 03rd of February, 2006, 10:06:24 AM.
"If, as pro-life advocates say, an embryo is a life from the moment it is concieved and not a potential life, by the same arguement could women who suffer spontaneous abortions or miscarriages be charged with involuntary manslaughter?"

Yes, I know this will open can o' worms, but I thought it was an interesting viewpoint , although not entirely a serious one; simply a good demonstration of how complex this argument is. Personally, I think both the woman and the man have the right to choose, not the goverment or a pro-life activist that doesn't know them or the situation but hates them anyway. I'm talking about the kind that picket clinics and scream "babykiller!" at the people going into them, which I think is disgusting.

Addenum: Yes, I said I believe the man should have a say; this is often overlooked with the rest of the debate that's raging. Yes, I know it's the woman's body, and yes, ultimately it is her choice, but it takes two to tango and you can't tell me the other half of the genetics doesn't have any say whatsoever in the decision. Obviously not as much, mostly due to physical reasoning (it's not the man that carries it for 9 months) and the potential for a terrible amount of bullying in one direction or the other (and I've seen it happen, with disaterous results), but at least to be considered and have their opinion marked as a valid one. Cue accusations of misogyny.

Think about it: what if the male wants to have the baby, and the woman wants to abort? The first reaction people have is "what a bastard, he shouldn't push her into that, it's her that has to give birth to it." Very true, she does. But the important fact is it's not just her child; it's theirs; it's half of each of them. Imagine the distress of the mother if she gets a termination when she wants to keep it (and how much of an asshole the guy would be considered by all and sundry), and remember that if the tables were turned and the woman was insisting on it, the father would be just as upset. People forget that. If I was having a baby with someone and they had an abortion with no discussion, I'd be pretty upset. That'd be my kid too. Potential kid. Argh, you know what I mean.

The next arguement seems to go "well, then she'd be left with an unwanted child!". I can sorta see how that arguement works, but in short, there's plenty of single fathers out there. This leads to the "two parents are better than one" arguement, which in turn leads to "should they have the child at all?" one. Which leads back to the original question of abortion as a moral issue, and around we go again.
Mood Tired
Listening to XPQ 21 - White And Alive
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left curve Public Post Tee hee. right curve
Posted on Monday 30th of January, 2006, 02:46:06 AM.
http://pyrotech-c3h8.livejournal.com/110778.html
Mood Bored, tired, and sleepless.
Listening to The squirrels of Christ compel me!
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left curve Public Post Well? right curve
Posted on Saturday 28th of January, 2006, 06:27:30 PM.
Should I put up a webcam on marion.st for the party tonight?
Mood Holding it in, holding it in....
Listening to Local H - Fritz's Corner
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left curve Public Post   right curve
Posted on Thursday 26th of January, 2006, 12:57:07 PM.
I always get the best birthday presents.
Mood Sick
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