Posted
on Monday 10th of April, 2006, 04:11:07 PM.
Urgh. Stupid vodka.
Skipped work today; I just couldn't face being around people. That and the fact that I was still awake and drunk at 7.30 this morning...
I'm not in a very good place at the moment. I'm demotivated, disillusioned, not happy with who I am but unwilling to change it. I get angry and wound up over the silliest things that I should long since have let go. I'm yelling at people I care about and need in my life. I'm clinging to people I should let go from, detaching others that I should keep around, and not putting in the effort for those I should. Its all going to hell in a handbasket, and I'm sorry.
I'm cutting the numbers down quite low. I tried to tell a very good friend to leave me alone and give me some space last night; I don't think I did it very well. It came across far less "I'm angry and frightened and I need you to leave me alone so I don't say something I'd regret later" and more "fuck off". Dammit.
That's all I can be arsed typing. I have to clean my room and put a load of laundry through the machine for the fourth time; I keep forgetting it and leaving it in there.
